CHAPTER 10. EVERYTHING TURNS YELLOW AROUND, SUMMER DEPARTS — WE’LL WEATHER THIS UNPLEASANTNESS

“Paul’s epistle to the Galatians once helped me greatly. It’s about struggling for truth without compromise. Paul had backbone, unlike Peter. We must be vertebrates—especially in captivity. Now we’ll only see each other in person after the operation, and the doctors will decide when. Lessons only by video. Don’t be bored—only people uninteresting to themselves get bored. Don’t be that superfluous person. Bye,” she kissed his cheek and left.

He was indeed isolated before the operation and devoted more time to reading the Bible, especially Paul’s letters. He decided to memorize Romans chapter eight—about how God’s life transforms a person and how no suffering can separate us from His love. He copied it out again and again until he could write it without error. He prayed with it, asking God for all the blessings it mentioned. He became a living chapter, a man in dialogue with his God.

In that conversation God reminded him of moments from his life he was ashamed of. He asked forgiveness and felt relief. So he went into surgery as into calm, enveloping river water.

Afterward, very weak, he began calling to God—first silently, then with his lips. He felt as if he were breathing God, breathing salvation moment by moment. He remembered from Romans that God is rich toward all who call upon Him, and he breathed this rich God carefully, as if opening safes full of earthly money. He didn’t know how long he would remain alone, but it didn’t weigh on him. Unlike Moses on the mountain, he received no specific text of revelation, but clearly sensed that for some reason it was important to God that he remains on earth for now.