CHAPTER 11. LOVE COMES UNEXPECTEDLY

Then they introduced a white horse. Before forcing him to climb on it for the first time, the trainer explained to the horse that no initiative was needed—the rider would be in charge. The trainer knelt on one knee and explained how to move to end up on top. Then came instructions on how to spring with the legs to avoid bruising the fillet part, and how to steer by pulling the reins on one side and nudging with the foot under the belly on the other. Surprisingly, the first lesson ended without injuries. He completed the path with a relatively straight back and raised head, but still without running or shooting.

Next came car driving. Though he already knew how to drive, he was unfamiliar with what to expect in non-standard situations. He had to relearn braking and releasing the brake at the right time to restore steering obedience. He had to get comfortable with steep descents, where you brake by shifting to low gear. Brake failure was especially important as the most likely assassination scenario. They also taught more complex tricks like controlled skidding, where you had to use gas and brake simultaneously. He especially liked the police U-turn because he’d loved the smell of gasoline and rubber since childhood.

One evening, he rolled his eyes as she again opened her mouth predatorily.

“You don’t smell good today. Come on, we’ll wash you,” she declared, nodding and dragging him to the bathroom.

“I have a second research line on chimerism for you. I’ve been collecting hair because daily study might be even more interesting,” he told her when the water was turned on.

“This isn’t science, it’s politics, my salty sweetheart,” she replied.

“The head of state needs an heir, and now you’re almost one hundred percent capable of conceiving one. We just need to wait a little longer to be sure. When there’s no trace of your DNA left in the sperm, I’ll repeat my offer about a child. I really need a boy from you. Can you manage?” she explained her interest in oral games.

“I’ve heard a child’s gender can be determined in advance with in vitro fertilization, but only for indications related to genetic diseases,” he pondered the prohibitions and ways to circumvent them.

“Since you can’t hit the target on the first shot, we could open a business called ‘Alimony from the First Person’ and sell all the failed test tubes on the side, while using the one with the boy ourselves. When doctors are in on it, they miraculously forget about prohibitions,” she joked, giggling and washing foam off him.

“That’s a bit transactional,” he noted and turned to politics. “Think bigger! He’s afraid that Russian biological material will end up in the West. So distribute his seed to all the intelligence services of probable adversaries. Or have you already?”

“I have sinned, Father,” she meekly confessed. “I had to, because the local laboratories would immediately report such shenanigans up the chain.”