AFTERWORD FROM THE OLD PAWNBROKER WOMAN

Yes. Everything about me is true. Everything else in this book—pure invention of the author. His imagination runs wild. You don't actually believe that Putin's double seized power and handed it to his wife, do you?

Although... if Putin really were sitting on Mars or in a freezer, things certainly wouldn’t be any worse. One thing about him is absolutely correct: yes, he really does shit into a little suitcase. You’ll find out why in the next book.

As for me, everything is fine. A typical oligarchic childhood—no gadgets. Evgenia handles those for me. Then the compulsory service. Like everyone else. Only better than everyone. Stronger and meaner—just like my father. When they decided to transfer him to non-combat troops, he chose prison over boredom. I’m the same. Excellent service, excellent education.

The fiancé—also excellent. I watched him while he filled out the recruitment form on me. Clever devil. Figured out that I was the one recruiting him. They denied him Dostoyevsky as a codename. He hasn’t told me yet, but my agent codename is Herzen. He lived in England. Now the mission from the Centre is to win my hand. Let him try—he endured a pound of salt with the former emperor, but with me, he’ll really sweat.

The fight was remarkable. Complete conservation of ammunition. Two hundred cadets—one shrapnel pie for each of the two hundred KamAZ trucks. One frequency. One shot—and it’s gone. The group on the hill was preserved—like seedlings. Without an agent network, there is no fighting terrorism.

This time, our operative was Malka the Prophetess. The heavens granted us a few hours of overcast—a rare miracle. And for the Most Powerful Ally (you know who) everything goes according to plan: Republicans are not required to demonstrate impartiality, Democrats are not required to demonstrate peacefulness.

We won’t delay the wedding, but no one is inviting you. Unless you are guerrilla fighters. Otherwise—you’ll replenish the exchange fund. Or worse, be sent to the meat grinder.

We don’t even need your donations. Just drink to our health.

Lechaim.